17 days post op

My face is starting to form around what it's really going to look like and I have to say, I'm pleased. I've been eating more foods and experimenting so I'm no longer hungry. However, because my elastics have completely moved I'm starting to experience braces pain all over again. Also, my muscles are very sore since I'm working them to eat. So this has brought me back to my good pain meds. I usually take them and just pass out. Gets rid of the pain and kills the time I'm here in bed. When I eat I don't necessarily chew (I don't know how) but I make a big mess and definitely exercise my jaw. I have a new snack I'd like to share with those of you who are recovering and looking for snacks. I got a keurig for Christmas last year and I've probably used it more than ever since surgery. I make the donut shop blend, put in sugar cookie creamer and mix those big fluffy sugar cookies with the icing on top. The coffee softens them and it's easy to eat just like mashed potatoes. Next step is waiting for feeling to come back into my bottom lip and chin. My life will get so much easier.

15 days post op and first appointment.

Nothing but good news. I got cleared to ear mashed potatoes, soft pastas, eggs and things I can crush with my finger. It's awful eating though. It hurts only because my jaw is so stiff but other than that it's alright. It was really messy and I definitely will need to be patient with relearning how to do it all. I feel like a baby. I had noodles hanging from my numb lips bit too was so good. I had minestrone soup for an appetizer, angel hair pasta over done with marinara sauce and cheesecake with a mousse center for dessert. It felt wonderful to fill my tummy with solid food. I wore a bib and a lap napkin. Everyone at olive garden was cheering me on. Doc showed me my before and after x-rays, changed and reduced my elastics and let me brush my teeth. I don't have my back elastics and my front switched to move my top jaw midline over. They're also much less tight. Almost not even noticeable. He gave me a bag of extras to change them out now. Life is going to be much easier from here on out. I can brush all of my teeth and the inside of my mouth now which is beautiful. Drinking from a straw is still somewhat of a challenge but everyday I get stronger and better. I feel good still. I am so happy I had this surgery.

 new jaw, who dis?

my first meal. All I've dreamed of this whole time. See my baby cuts? Oh well. 

yum yum

the napkins I went through trying to remain civilized 

picked up my best friend and went out for starbucks! 

Tomorrow will be two weeks post op!

Wow, it really felt like this would never come. Things are progressing a lot slower than they were. I still can't feel my lower lip or chin. It's getting really old, but everyday is closer and I'm able to drink just fine so it's just more of an annoyance. I self graduated to lowering my front elastic and eating mashed potatoes. I don't know if my surgeon would approve, but it fills my stomach and I only do it when I'm really hungry. Also, I only did it once and i don't chew. If you decide to do this definitely only use your lips and tongue. You'll need to relearn how to eat anyway so this may help you with controlling your lips and tongue. You'll look like a baby when you eat  (literally) and I recommend using baby utensils since you won't be able to open your mouth very wide. Small bites, small utensils, mirror for guidance, and a hell of a lot of patience is necessary. Funny tidbit: I used my mickey mouse utensils from the 90s when I was learning how to eat. It was like nostalgia and frustration all at once. I wore makeup for the first time 2 days ago on Christmas eve. I also got my eyebrows waxed that day too so it felt amazing to feel good about myself again. Cody got me the naked 1 palette from urban decay so I just had to use it for his family Christmas. I'll admit, it was so weird putting on makeup where my face is numb. My lips look so much bigger due to the new placement of my face so my lipstick was bangin'. My first post op appointment is in 2 days. I'll update next with my surgeons instructions and thoughts on my healing. I still feel great, I'm just ready to eat more than broth, smoothies, protein shakes, and the occasional instant mashed. Feel free to email me or comment any questions. I promise not to hold anything back.

I felt so good about myself. See my new Kendra Scott necklace? Cody got the EXACT one I mentioned that I wanted. He's the best. 

Everything Cody got me for Christmas. He definitely made it wonderful considering the circumstances. I got the Naked Smoky palette last Christmas so I was thrilled to add the first one to my collection.  I love urban decay so much. Also, the movie was something I have not been able to find in stores. We actually looked all over OKC for it and couldn't find it. It's one of my favorites so he found it online for me. The Beatles thing is a zippo lighter than is 17 years old and has never been lit. It's a sweet addition to my vintage Beatles collection. He is seriously so thoughtful. & of course he knows I love Kendra Scott, glitter, and black. Best boyfriend ever. I hope everyone had a great Christmas this year, I know I did! 

Almost double digits update.

Hi! I haven't updated. That's because I'm back to my daily life. No pain meds, antibiotics, or all day bedrest. I still sounds funny when I talk but that's because of my bite splint. It feels like a retainer. I went to the mall and spent a lot of money on myself cause it felt good. The girls at victorias secret understood me and were great. I got a lot of compliments on my strength. It's nice to feel strong, really. My diet consists of smoothies and strained soup. I'm terribly hungry and it affects my mood. It makes it even worse that I have zero pain because my only reason for not eating is that it can affect the internal plate in my top jaw. I see Dr. Sullivan in just a few days and I'm really hoping he clears me for soft foods. My bottom lip and below is still completely numb and that's annoying, but I've felt worse before so I'm not complaining. My side stitches have dissolved, so truly I'm almost back to normal. I've already planned my first meal. I feel good, y'all. If you need jaw surgery and haven't seen a doctor I highly recommend Dr. Steven Sullivan. I give full credit to my superior recovery to him. He's the best in the area, no doubt. I've never been more pleased with a doctor and I've seen a lot. I'll update soon. I'll be spending the next few days pissed off because people are eating christmas dinner in front of me. I'll be okay. Wednesday isn't far and that'll be 15 days post op.

1 week photo updates

my left side is a little more swollen than my right side, but it's going down nonetheless. I feel good y'all. I can brush all of my teeth and they're pretty and white. Also, my bite is amazing. It's everything I've ever dreamed of. I get teary eyed when I really think about it because I really have always wanted a normal functioning jaw and nose. I feel amazing inside and out. Now I just gotta survive being able to see my friends and family eat around me. I'm not going to lie, I get really sad sometimes but I have to abstain for my health and well being. I feel full for the first time today. I ate two different soups, two different fruit and veggies smoothies and plenty of soda. It was magical. I'm going to wake up tomorrow so energized and ready for my day. I'm now 12 hours off of my pain meds and I'm drinking properly from a cup (less mess). I'm doing great. The rest of my updates will include the rest of my journey. I do have some elastics that will be a process to be removed. Plus my bite plate splint. This journey is far from over but it's well worth it. 

Almost one week post op

I love life today. I've been yapping and smiling (well trying) all day. I'm on my way to a restaurant to get my favorite tomato soup. It's about all I can get from a restaurant but the point is I feel amazing. I feel so so so good. I drank an entire naked smoothie (with a cup, not a syringe) this morning. I have my life back. I'm so happy. If this is the what you're looking forward to: just get past the first week. It's definitely the hardest. The worst part now is wanting food. I'm STARVING. I would die for a pizza, but I'm still about a month away from there. That's okay though. I went 12 hours without any pain meds. There is still pain, don't get me wrong. But this is so much better. I'm almost completely down from my swelling and I can honestly say I don't regret this surgery. I'm happy now. My updates will definitely be more positive.

Days 5 & 6: things are looking up (kinda)

Alright so I have to say that this has been the most painful experience I have ever been through by far but I definitely see big changes. I just hate life right now. Day 5 was probably the worst for me. I threw up on this day. Like real throw up. Through my bands. It hurt like hell. I just want to warn anyone who has stomach issues like I do, you will definitely experience some hellish times. It passes but make sure you get Phenergan wrist gel from your doctor. Not zofran, Phenergan. I was at my lowest point emotionally too. This is a serious procedure, y'all. It hits you hard. Something else I would like to share. I have fucking had it with my goddamn syringe. It's gross and not natural. It also makes my water taste like hell. So I decided to figure my shit out. What I'm doing now is I'm pouring liquid into my mouth with the guidance of my top lip (which i can feel now). I don't recommend doing this until after the first 3 or 4 days. It's really not what you're supposed to do, but fuck it. I started only doing it with water. Today on day 6 I decided to try it with those delicious danimals smoothies. Don't think this isn't going to be messy, it is. Very messy. However, you get really good at it. So far I've done it with water, danimals, and now dr pepper (I'll get into that in just a minute, it was an experience). Anyway, what you need to do is hold a rag under your bottom lip and you'll avoid getting mess on you and it's a win/win situation. I don't do this with everything. I still take my meds and juices through the syringe, but when I drink for pleasure or water it's through my teeth. It's worth it. Alright, now onto pop. Okay, so I tried pop for the first time today. It burned like hell and it doesn't taste the same quite yet. But it was nice to get some back into my system. I've missed the doctor. About now you're getting cabin feverish. I recommend getting out for a bit. It's Christmas time so my boyfriend takes me to see the lights. I can't stay cooped up in my room. It's just depressing. I also can't take my zoloft right now since I can't swallow pills so it's basically like fuck me, right? Haha. Well I think I'm ready for my one week mark. I will definitely enjoy meeting a big milestone. This is a horrible experience. I just can't wait to see my beautiful results. I feel like shit so I'll update the blog when something else significant happens.

Day 4: Still in this hellish state. Misery at its finest.

This has been a pretty bad day. Less crying and different liquids for me to try. I've attempted a straw against my doctors orders but I'm done with that syringe. I also really want to brush my teeth. They're so nasty and covered in icky. I can't even see my teeth when I move my lips. Also. My lips are kinda stuck together and it's rather unpleasant separating them honestly. I had one more visitor on this day and it made it easier to an extent. Today is also the day I started applying moist heat to my cheeks. This was beyond soothing. I've watched so much Hulu these past few days it's not even funny. This is the day my nightmares began. I would dream of my swelling going down and the ability to use a straw just to wake up to a huge face and a dry ass mouth. Oh my god, do not get my started on the dry mouth. The syringe makes the water taste nasty so it's not relieving in the slightest. I'm slowly regaining the ability to recognize the foreign things in my mouth. My bite plate isn't as huge as I had thought it would be, but in a week or so it's going to get really irritating. I can feel it now. I also got to remove my mustache and swelling tape today. Didn't hurt nearly as bad as I thought. As a matter of fact, none of this experience is what I expected. I wholly expected a lot of pain, but it's more of an uncomfortable feeling. My nerves were worked to the point that they aren't causing pain but the bulginess of my face is definitely awful. I sincerely look forward to my swelling going down. Maybe then I can use a STRAW!

I'm still wearing my discharge clothes because I frankly don't give a shit how nasty I am. I also recognize that I still have caked dried blood around my nose and on my lips. This will be washed away once I get the strength to stand for longer than a minute. See my absent mustache?? It felt good to progress in some way. 

Day 3: my own personal hell

This is where shit hit the fan. I cried from the pain for the first time this evening. I felt completely helpless and I was in an unbearable amount of pain. By now I've had milkshakes, apple & grape juice, water, sweet tea and Gatorade all through my syringe. I still hate that damn thing. I'd much rather pour the liquid on my face and hope a good amount slips through the cracks. I haven't been able to get a substantial amount of sleep yet. My boyfriend is doing basically everything for me. He's my angel. I don't know what I would do without his help. I have a dry erase board and a million ice packs within arms reach. My fever has not gone above 99.2. I can open my jaw a little bit more at this point. Not a lot, but I can definitely move it more than the first day.  That felt very nice. I've attempted to brush my teeth but the nastiness still remains. It's also hard to swish cleaning stuff since your jaws are clamped together. I also haven't showered in 5 days. My nausea kicks in if I stand for too long. Since my nose is stopped up I can smell myself too much but I know Cody can. He's been sweet about it all though. He doesn't make me feel bad about any of this. Again, he's my angel. I strongly recommend having someone like him around for support if you decide to undergo this surgery. It is definitely major. This was also the day my emotions started to kick in. I desperately miss eating and drinking properly. I cannot wait until I can purse my lips around a straw. A nice, cold Dr pepper will be perfect.

 here we are in bed together. Like my mustache? 

Day 2: homebound

I was woken up and was definitely cranky. They took my morphine away and made me start using my syringe. (Let me tell you, I will never ever take straws for granted again). I was discharged around 2pm and I left with 2 pages of prescriptions. I felt great when I got home. I had some of my good pain meds as well as an ibuprofen shot in my rear. However, this most definitely wore off by the next morning. I was unable to sleep through the night. I migrated all throughout the house to find somewhere more comfortable but I was never satisfied. Swelling was my big issue, that and numbness. I just want to be able to drink from a straw dammit. I miss dr pepper more than anything. Anyway, I got settled in at home and things started looking up.

I'm almost 21 years old and I'm still relying on my stuffed giraffe for comfort. No judgment. 

The big day!

I apologize for I am posting this on day 4. I was way too lethargic and sick to post before today.
Anyway: I went into the OR at 8am and my team put me to sleep and got to work. I woke up unable to talk with my boyfriend standing above me with beautiful flowers. My nurses weren't the best at keeping up my meds, but it's okay. I should've spoken up more. This was by far the worst day so far. I dry heaved all day. Fortunately the tube going from my nose to my stomach cleared my stomach so nothing would come out. Since my jaw was banded shut, this would have been absolutely terrifying. I treaded through the day with short naps and soft cries. I highly recommend having someone there for support. Someone who knows you well enough to understand your muffled speech. This was my boyfriend, Cody, for me. I would get extremely frustrated when people couldn't understand me but luckily he did and would translate. His support has been the best during this journey. I know I stated I'm only on day 4, but every hour feels like a day. It's miserable. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Introduction: my journey

In September of 2012 my journey began with the extraction of my premolars. My orthodontist warned me that I may need jaw surgery but also promised he would do his best to prevent it. Well, based on the title of my new blog it's apparent that I did in fact need the surgery. I got my braces on 2 weeks following my premolar extraction. Nothing huge besides straighter teeth happened until mid 2015 when my orthodontist told me the horrible new: I need surgery eventually. I scheduled a consultation with Dr. Steven Sullivan from the University of Oklahoma. Upon seeing him he told me the worst of it and my self esteem quickly declined. I actually cried on the way home. 2 months later (february 2016) Dr. Sullivan removed my wisdom teeth. In April I scheduled another appointment with Dr. Sullivan since I was just beginning to be ortho ready for double jaw surgery. We scheduled my surgery for December 13th 2016 and the waiting began. I honestly had no idea what to expect regardless of the countless advice I received. You truly do not know what this is like until you endure it yourself. I had a severe over bite and my top jaw was slanted to the right. I also had a pretty severe deviated septum that was corrected during my surgery (I am SO thankful). This pretty much covers my preop experience. Ill attach some before pictures below.